Can you stay friends with your ex? 分手後可以和前任做朋友嗎?

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分手後還可不可以和前任繼續做朋友?有些人認為一段感情結束後,最好和前任一刀兩斷;而另一些人則認為這樣做未免過於極端。本期 「隨身英語」 圍繞能否與前任維持友誼這個話題展開討論。

詞彙:love and friendship 愛情與友誼

Breaking up is hard to do – or so some people say. If you’re in a relationship but not as loved-up as you once were, when is the right time to call it a day? The longer the relationship, the harder it can be. But once you do make the break, is it still possible to maintain a friendship with your ex-partner?

When you’ve been dumped, the classic line that’s often used is 『let’s just be friends’. That can be either wishful thinking or something to soften the blow of bad news. However, when you fell madly in love with your partner all those weeks, months or years ago, it would have been hard to imagine you’d fall out of love. And so salvaging something from that time, and remaining friends, could be a good thing to do.

It’s good if a break-up is amicable – it avoids the hate, pain and anger that can eat away at us and affect our mental health. If you can accept you’ve had some good times but it’s time to move on, then all the better – besides, you won’t have to cancel your ex-partner from social media or delete their name from your contacts! If you can appreciate the mutual interests you had then there’s no reason why you can’t continue a platonic relationship.

But holding onto the past and staying friends doesn’t always work – you just have to accept you and your partner just weren’t compatible, therefore it’s best to give each other space, to look forward, and try to get any romantic feelings you once had out of your system. And according to some, staying friends with your ex isn’t a good option. Marie-Claire Chappet told the BBC, 「It does nothing but prolong the pain of the break-up」.

Helen Fisher, a neurologist at the Kinsey Institute who’s been studying the psychology in relationships, also told the BBC: 「The way to accelerate mending a broken heart is similar to treating addiction – you put away their things, stop looking at their social media and have no contact with them.」

So, maybe it’s time to get in touch with your real friends, instead of seeking friendship with 『a ghost from the past’.

詞彙表

break up 分手
relationship 戀愛關係
loved-up 恩愛的
call it a day 結束,到此為止
friendship 友誼
dump 甩掉(戀人)
wishful thinking 一廂情願
fall in love 墜入愛河
amicable 不傷和氣的
move on 接受(分手的)現實,向前看
mutual 共同的
platonic (柏拉圖式)純精神友誼的
compatible 合得來,適合彼此
romantic 與愛情相關的,浪漫的
out of your system 擺脫,趕走
broken heart 「心碎」

測驗與練習

1.  閱讀課文並回答問題。

1. What line is often used to soften the disappointment of being dumped?

2. According to the article, what might the benefits of staying friends with an ex-partner be?

3. True or false? It’s always possible to have some kind of friendship with your ex-partner.

4. Who could you contact after a relationship has finished?

5. According to expert Helen Fisher, what should you stop doing if you’re trying to get over a relationship?

2.  選擇意思恰當的單詞或詞組來完成下列句子。

1. We’ve tried to fix the car but it’s still not working, I think it’s time to _______.

call a day                call it’s a day             call it a day                call it the day

2. It’s time to _______ – we’ve done enough work on this project today.

fell in love               call it a day                break-up                    out of your system

3. It’s been three years since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. I think I’m finally ready to _______.

dump                     out of my system        move on                     loved-up

4. After an _______ divorce, we’ve decided to meet up for coffee every now and then.

amicable                 romantic                    compatible                  dumped

5. Access to the canal was agreed by _______ agreement between the two countries.

compatible              platonic                      mutual                        loved-up

答案

1.  閱讀課文並回答問題。

1. What line is often used to soften the disappointment of being dumped?
The classic line 『let’s just be friends’ is often used to soften the blow of being dumped.

2. According to the article, what might the benefits of staying friends with an ex-partner be?
You won’t have to cancel your ex-partner from social media or delete their name from your contacts and you can still appreciate the mutual interests you once had.

3. True or false? It’s always possible to have some kind of friendship with your ex-partner.
False. Holding onto the past and staying friends doesn’t always work.

4. Who could you contact after a relationship has finished?
Maybe it’s time to get in touch with your real friends.

5. According to expert Helen Fisher, what should you stop doing if you’re trying to get over a relationship?
She says you should stop looking at their social media and have no contact with them.

2.  選擇意思恰當的單詞或詞組來完成下列句子。

1. We’ve tried to fix the car but it’s still not working, I think it’s time to call it a day.

2. It’s time to call it a day – we’ve done enough work on this project today.

3. It’s been three years since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. I think I’m finally ready to move on.

4. After an amicable divorce, we’ve decided to meet up for coffee every now and then.

5. Access to the canal was agreed by mutual agreement between the two countries.