Dealing with grief 如何面對悲傷的情緒

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當我們所愛的人離我們而去後,我們會感到極度悲傷,會經歷一種無法抗拒的痛苦和空虛感。當他人希望我們接受現實,繼續生活的時候,我們往往仍沉浸在悲傷中,不願面對未來。本文討論敞開心扉,與他人分享自己感受的益處。

詞彙:grief 悲傷

If there is one thing in life that we could choose not to experience, it is the death of someone we love. Losing a friend or family member is heartbreaking and hard to accept, but how we deal with it, and how we 『move on』, varies from person to person.

Death is, of course, inevitable, but sometimes we feel the passing of a loved one has come too soon. Our first reaction is to grieve, and even though we may soon be encouraged to accept closure and let go, the grieving can last a while. But grief is a very natural, human response to loss and can take the form of many unexpected emotions, from shock to guilt, anger and disbelief.

When someone dies, we may be tempted to put on a brave face and hide our feelings. But experts say that this is the time to talk about feelings – even cry and sob and show people you are suffering. There’s nothing wrong with trying to keep the memory of the deceased alive. You can talk to them in your head, write them a letter or share memories with other people who knew them.

Some people have chosen to make a more permanent reminder of someone by getting a memorial tattoo. Dr John Troyer from Bath University told the BBC: 「You can have a continuing bond with the dead… I think it’s a very important way for people to come to terms that someone’s left.」

Whatever approach you take to grieving and to keeping someone’s memory alive, eventually the physical aching and pain caused by the loss of a loved one will subside. But the memories of that person and the times we shared can stay with us forever, and talking about them and expressing your feelings is all part of the healing process. But as singer and songwriter Patti Smith told the BBC: 「Loss is something that we never get over.」

詞彙表

lose 失去
heartbreaking 令人心碎的
move on 接受現實,繼續向前
inevitable 不可避免的,必然發生的
passing 逝世
grieve (因某人過世而)傷心,悲痛
closure 解脫,寬慰
let go 放手
grief 悲痛,悲哀
disbelief 懷疑,不相信
put on a brave face 強裝勇敢,假裝不在乎
sob 抽泣
suffer 受苦,經歷(壞事)
memory 記憶,回憶
the deceased 去世的人,亡故者
memorial 紀念性的,追悼的
come to terms (with something) 逐漸接受
loved one 親人,家人
healing process 治癒過程

測驗與練習

1.  閱讀課文並回答問題。

1. True or false? After someone you know has died, it can feel like your heart has broken.

2. When a loved one has died, what is the first thing we feel?

3. According to the article, what is going to happen to all of us?

4. According to experts, why is it good to talk about your feelings?

5. Why might a memorial tattoo help you come to terms with the death of a loved one?

2. 選擇意思恰當的單詞或詞組來完成下列句子。

1.I was upset about losing my job, but I guess it’s time to _______ and find a new one. 

move up                         move on                       move in                     move out

2. There is a plan to build a _______ for the soldiers who died in the war.

memories                       memory                       memorial                    memorials

3. You made a great speech Roy – you _______ yourself very well.

passed                           expressed                    suffered                     deceased

4. It was _______ to see all the work I had done in the garden be destroyed by the storm.

inevitable                       disbelief                        grief                           heartbreaking

5.  She looked OK about failing her exams but I think she’s putting on a _______.

braved face                   brave face                     face brave                 grave face

答案

1.  閱讀課文並回答問題。  

1. True or false? After someone you know has died, it can feel like your heart has broken.
True. The death of someone can be ‘heartbreaking’, although your heart is not literally broken.

2. When a loved one has died, what is the first thing we feel?
Our first reaction is to grieve. The emotion is grief.

3. According to the article, what is going to happen to all of us?
We are all going to die one day – it is inevitable.

4. According to experts, why is it good to talk about your feelings?
Talking about your feelings shows other people you are suffering.

5. Why might a memorial tattoo help you come to terms with the death of a loved one?
According to Dr John Troyer from Bath University, memorial tattoos can help you have a continuing bond with the dead.

2. 選擇意思恰當的單詞或詞組來完成下列句子。

1. I was upset about losing my job, but I guess it’s time to move on and find a new one.

2. There is a plan to build a memorial for the soldiers who died in the war.

3. You made a great speech, Roy – you expressed yourself very well.

4. It was heartbreaking to see all the work I had done in the garden be destroyed by the storm.

5. She looked OK about failing her exams, but I think she’s putting on a brave face.